Inside every adult is a vulnerable part that never really grows up. Most of us are too afraid of disapproval or rejection to express our deeper feelings. We worry that "if you knew all about me, you wouldn't like me". We're certain that others are happier, wiser, more fulfilled. We cannot risk being compared unfavorably. But withholding our emotions makes healthy communication impossible and creates distance in relationships. The part we hold back our authentic selves constitutes the very richness that others would find appealing. There is hidden power, and magnetism, in vulnerability and in the willingness to share deeper feelings, whether to express love or to acknowledge fears and needs.
The most difficult time to express vulnerability is when you're in love. Many are concerned about being too dependent on their partners for attention and love. They have a fear of appearing desperate or ridiculous. This is nonsense. Sharing with others how important they are to you makes them more loving and loyal, more thoughtful about your needs. When you are honest and open, you will find others inviting you into their private worlds. Think about the people you enjoy and admire. They are not superbeings. They err, they cry, they despair. They are real and vulnerable human beings.
Irene C. Kassorla
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